December 19, 2011
Day 84 (final day)

I can't believe it is here. In about 16 hours I will be waking up, packing the few last minute things, getting ready and getting in the car to head to the aiport in Sevilla.
These last 3 months (12 weeks) have gone by so fast I can't even believe it. Honestly, I can't. At first the days just seemed to drag on and on, not that I minded haha, but now it's like the days aren't long enough. It's my last day here in Spain and every time I do something I think "wow, I won't be doing this again" and that's such a strange feeling. I guess techincally my last day is tomorrow but considering I will be travelling all day (starting at 4:30am my time), I don't really consider it my last day.
Yesterday while I was packing my bags Carmen came into my room and said "que estas haciendo?" (what are you doing?) and I looked at her not sure what to say. I just stood there, lost for words and said "just seeing what fits..." and she walked away and I could hear her ask her mom what I was doing. I feel so bad for this little girl it's unbelieveable. Her and I have gotten really close these last three months, hell she has stopped hating me when she gets home from school. Instead of whining when I would say hi to her when she got home now she comes inside and looks for me calling out my name. She's such a sweet, cute little girl and I feel so bad doing this to her but there really isn't anything I can do. I just hope when the next au pair gets here (I think she comes in January) that Carmen and her get along as well as we did.
This experience has definitely been the most amazing experience of my life. It's so different than just vacationing in Spain. Yes, it was like a vacation in aspects but I lived the Spanish culture. I didn't just come here as a tourist, see all the touristy things, eat at Spanish restaurants every day and all other things touristy. Instead I moved into an apartment in Spain, I ate home cooked Spanish meals, I saw all the touristy sites, I saw non-touristy sites, I shopped at the supermarket for food and necessities, I bought medicine at the pharmacy and all kiinds of other things that a normal tourist wouldn't experience... the list can go on forever. But most of all I gained a second family in a foriegn country. I can't wait to see what Poland has in store for me next year!
Hasta luego España. Te echo de menos ya! Hola America.

December 13, 2011
Day 81

Losing someone is always hard but I didn't realize how much harder it would be to lose a friend when I am half way across the world. Today is the saddest I have been since I got to Spain. I haven't had this feeling in three months and I don't even know what to do with it a) because I haven't felt it in so long and b) because I really have nobody here than can comfort me like my family and friends back home can.
I woke up this morning, in a good mood thinking about going shopping, and while I was getting ready I saw a Facebook messanger window pop up on my computer screen. Sarah Han. Now I haven't talked to Sarah in a while so I was pretty confused when I saw her name on the IM window. It's not that I don't want to talk to her it's just always that feeling you get when someone you haven't talked to in a while suddenly contacts you. I read her message and sat there in disbelief. Was she playing some kind of horrible joke on me? There was no way what she was saying was true. It was totally unbelieveable. I sat there for a few moments reading and re-reading her message not even sure how to respond. Finally I came up with the most common answer I could "what!!!!!". My friend Patrick Gow, and her cousin, passed away today (well I guess techincally las night for everyone in the US). He wasn't even 21 yet, in college and had so much life ahead of him still. He was working on the exhaust of his car and the his car suddenly fell on top of him.
It's not fair. It's not fair for him. He was so young, so happy all the time, such a great kid. It's not fair to everyone, including me, that didn't get to see him recently. I hadn't seen Patrick since earlier this year when he came up to Renton to visit his family here. It was great to see him and take him to Dicks (mind you for his first time ever) since the frat party we were supposed to go to got broken up but I just wish I could have seen him one more time, more recently.
I remember when I first met him. Sarah (his cousin), him and I were headed out on a road trip to Portland with a local Seattle band (Moneta) to support them at their show and help with merch and whatever else they needed help with. It was a long, hot drive to Portland but a totally fun experience. After that road trip there were many more to come. Going to Portland to donate blood to get backstage passes to Warped Tour, going down just to go down for fun, all kinds of things. I'm going to miss being able to do that. Most of all I'm gonna miss being able to talk to him, seeing his facebook updates, being able to talk about awesome music with him like Rusko.
He was a great kid, taken far too young and with no just cause but I guess they do say all the great ones are taken young. So Patrick, I hope you know you are a great one and I can't wait to see you again and dance our asses off to Rusko up there and show everyone what real good music is all about.

If anyone that reads this is willing to help me get down to Portland for his funeral (assuming it is in Portland and it is after I get home; still waiting on details from his cousin) I would appreciate it. Basically I just need help with gas money to get down there. I am coming home from Spain, as you all know, broke and without a job but I am not going to let that stop me from seeing my friend one last time. So if you have it in your heart or in your wallet to help me, I would appreciate it. I am already thankful to Sarah (his cousin) for informing me of this tragedy so quickly, to my mom for trying her best to be a mother and support me from 6k miles away and to Shanelle for being willing to make the trip with me down there to be my back bone.

December 6, 2011
Day 74

Two weeks left in Spain! This time next Tuesday I will be somewhere over Canada on my final leg of my trip home (Newark to Seattle).
I can't believe how quick these three months have flown by. At first it felt like the days never ended; like there was 48 hours per day not 24. Now it feels like there are only 12. The days go by quicker than I can follow and I often get lost as to what day it actually is. To many people's amazement I am actually excited to come home though I will miss Spain very, very much and I do plan on coming back as soon as possible.
Why am I excited? Well I will be 21 six days after I get home. Now that is a big freaking deal, dude, big. Big enough to make anyone excited to go home. I will finally be able to drink in bars legally, I won't have to sneak in or make friends with the right people. I won't have to worry about asking friends to go buy me alcohol from the liquor store (soon the grocery store!). I won't have to worry about cops showing up at a party I am at and getting busted for drinking underage. It is going to be grand, I just know it! If it is anything like what I experienced here it is awesome. Of course here, in Spain, the cops really don't give a shit if you are drinking in public and the bars/clubs are open till 7am (serving alcohol the entire time). So there will be some differences but I am sure i can handle that.
Second, I am excited to go home because I miss my freaking animals. Yes, even the shit head dogs. Haha. I didn't realize how much I would miss fighting them for my bed, or miss getting jumped all over, or miss them barking at stupid shit but holy crap that is the first thing I started missing when I got here. I guess the saying is true, you never realize how much you'll miss something until it is actually gone. Thankfully, in my case, my animals were only gone for 3 months, not for forever. Got lucky there!
Third, I am excited to go home because I miss my family. And yes, I miss my animals more than I miss my family. Call me a bad person but that is how it always is with me. I think it has something to do with the fact that I can talk with my family (and thanks to Sykpe see them) but I can't talk with my cats or dogs. Sure, I can see them on Skype and try to talk to them but ya know, they don't respond. They look around lost and confused.
Fourth, I am excited to go home because I miss my friends. Sure, I made plenty of great friends here but nothing can ever replace the friends back home. The ones I spent every weekend with, the ones I texted constantly, every day about the most random bullshit. The ones I have the stupidest memories with like "bal-ance" and going to McDonald's at 5AM after partying and trying to order a McChicken and yelling at the guy behind the microphone because we couldn't order a McChicken. Those kinds of memories just don't happen with just anybody. It takes a certain type of person for those things to happen.
In other news, we got a Christmas tree yesterday. It is only like 3ft tall and looks totally fake but it's alright. Up north the family has a legit, massive tree and since they will be there for the holidays they didn't want to go all out for Christmas here since they won't be there. The tree was really only bought for Carmen, to make her happy since she kept asking for a tree. Nonetheless, it adds some Christmas cheer to the apartment and otherwise non-christmasy surroundings of the village. It's odd because most villages and cities here are all decked out for Christmas, with lights up and stuff, but I haven't seen any of that in Isla Cristina. Must be a village full of rare devil lovers or something strange like that. Maybe witches and wizards or crap I don't know... maybe they are just lazy. Who knows but the lack of Christmas cheer in this little village is retarded.
Oh yeah, by the way, Carmen is obsessed with my boobs. The other day she kept staring at them and pointing at my chest saying "GRANDE. GRANDE. GRAAAAAAANDE." then she would try to tickle my boobs. Funny little girl but awkward.