December 13, 2011
Day 81

Losing someone is always hard but I didn't realize how much harder it would be to lose a friend when I am half way across the world. Today is the saddest I have been since I got to Spain. I haven't had this feeling in three months and I don't even know what to do with it a) because I haven't felt it in so long and b) because I really have nobody here than can comfort me like my family and friends back home can.
I woke up this morning, in a good mood thinking about going shopping, and while I was getting ready I saw a Facebook messanger window pop up on my computer screen. Sarah Han. Now I haven't talked to Sarah in a while so I was pretty confused when I saw her name on the IM window. It's not that I don't want to talk to her it's just always that feeling you get when someone you haven't talked to in a while suddenly contacts you. I read her message and sat there in disbelief. Was she playing some kind of horrible joke on me? There was no way what she was saying was true. It was totally unbelieveable. I sat there for a few moments reading and re-reading her message not even sure how to respond. Finally I came up with the most common answer I could "what!!!!!". My friend Patrick Gow, and her cousin, passed away today (well I guess techincally las night for everyone in the US). He wasn't even 21 yet, in college and had so much life ahead of him still. He was working on the exhaust of his car and the his car suddenly fell on top of him.
It's not fair. It's not fair for him. He was so young, so happy all the time, such a great kid. It's not fair to everyone, including me, that didn't get to see him recently. I hadn't seen Patrick since earlier this year when he came up to Renton to visit his family here. It was great to see him and take him to Dicks (mind you for his first time ever) since the frat party we were supposed to go to got broken up but I just wish I could have seen him one more time, more recently.
I remember when I first met him. Sarah (his cousin), him and I were headed out on a road trip to Portland with a local Seattle band (Moneta) to support them at their show and help with merch and whatever else they needed help with. It was a long, hot drive to Portland but a totally fun experience. After that road trip there were many more to come. Going to Portland to donate blood to get backstage passes to Warped Tour, going down just to go down for fun, all kinds of things. I'm going to miss being able to do that. Most of all I'm gonna miss being able to talk to him, seeing his facebook updates, being able to talk about awesome music with him like Rusko.
He was a great kid, taken far too young and with no just cause but I guess they do say all the great ones are taken young. So Patrick, I hope you know you are a great one and I can't wait to see you again and dance our asses off to Rusko up there and show everyone what real good music is all about.

If anyone that reads this is willing to help me get down to Portland for his funeral (assuming it is in Portland and it is after I get home; still waiting on details from his cousin) I would appreciate it. Basically I just need help with gas money to get down there. I am coming home from Spain, as you all know, broke and without a job but I am not going to let that stop me from seeing my friend one last time. So if you have it in your heart or in your wallet to help me, I would appreciate it. I am already thankful to Sarah (his cousin) for informing me of this tragedy so quickly, to my mom for trying her best to be a mother and support me from 6k miles away and to Shanelle for being willing to make the trip with me down there to be my back bone.